I’ve decided to take up writing again. In part because I
think it’s healthy, in part because I have assignments due to my recent
enrollment in the Rozema Institute of Liberal Arts, and in part because I feel
disconnected from words right now. Please excuse my awkward fumbling as I find my footing in the world of writing. It's been a long time.
A lot of things have been changing for me in the past two years. I am learning to adapt and take everything in stride, but it takes a little practice.
It is hard to sort through the bits and pieces of who you
were in the past and decide what should be included in who you are in the
present and future. Some things need to be left behind as you look ahead in
life, and it can be hard parting because those were what defined you for so
long. I have been learning a lot about who I am now, in this moment in life.
The married, gainfully employed Rachel (who drives a reliable car and dresses
in normal business attire) is someone I am just getting to know. I like her,
don’t get me wrong, but it’s different. Planning has never been a strong point
for me, and it seems like the older you get, the more has to be thought out way
in advance. I’m learning though. And thankfully God has given me a husband who
is wonderful at planning.
I don’t know if you ever really get caught up on who you are
in life. There might always be a struggle between growing up and clinging to
who you were. I think that’s why it is so important to find your identity in
Christ, first and foremost. Growing, cultivating, and becoming comfortable with
who you are in Him makes everything else easier to deal with. If I can remember
that I am a daughter of the King, that He has my life in His hands, and I can
do all things through Him, then my life’s complications pale in comparison to
His goodness.
He is growing us up and we don’t always enjoy it, but it is
ALWAYS for the better. I like that. I like growing up with God. Now, to remember that during the hard times...that is the trick. But at least I know it's possible.
Wow! I really enjoyed reading all of your posts.. This one is so wise.. It's very tricky becoming an adult and especially getting married.. How do you stay a cox and embrace being a rozema? Or in my case wacaster and cox... Haha..it is very tricky.. But then you remember the reason you're wrestling with this issue is because you've made a commitment to spend the rest of your life with your best friend and the hottest guy you've ever seen (hope it doesn't weird you out that in my case, that's your cousin!) and it's all worth the effort! Love you, rach!
ReplyDeleteI realize in commenting I'm revealing that I just read all of these old posts...but I couldn't stop after the first few because I have to finish things, so, here I am.
ReplyDeleteAnyway, this is SO what I needed to hear, where I am right now. Struggling with the "recent college grad, all my friends are getting married and I don't know what I'm doing" identity crisis is a tough season, but a good one. Thanks for your wise words two years ago ;) keep writing friend - I enjoy it for the same reason you do. A breath of fresh air and space to just be. Love you!